Monday, November 23, 2009

Myths !

Myths – I have a had my share of myths. I believed some for few days, some for few years and a couple until now !!! here is a list
1) I thought fried rice was raw rice deep fried in oil
2) I thought fried ice cream is a myth, you cannot fry ice cream without it melting
3) I really thought fairness cream will make you fair in weeks ( I tried for 8 years before I gave up)
4) I thought foreigners came from one country outside India and they all had blonde hair, fair skin and spoke English
5) I thought the world might stop spinning one of the Sundays and then I would never have to go back to school again
6) I thought you would make babies by kissing ( ok I was like 5 then ! )
7) Babies poop cannot stink, they drink just milk anyway
8) I thought colour of the food you eat and the colour of the skin were related. Example - Drinking milk will make your skin lighter and drinking coffee made it darker
9) When you lose a teeth, you need to hide it. If anyone saw it, then that gap will never be filled. I had to invent new places to hide my teeth everytime as my brother threatened to find it and i was scared i might never grow another teeth !
10) When i made faces, my mom said they would freeze and I will have a frown all my life. ( I just do 1 now..which little one imitates impeccably!)
11) If you eat a seed, a plant will grow in your stomach. I spent weeks worried about an orange pip I ate
12) If you ate too much, you stomach might burst ( I sort of sense why they would have told me this!)
13) When I tried to scare my little cousin with a cross eye, I was told my eyes would remain cross eyed forever if I used the trick to scare someone
14) The length of the hair and your body weight are inversely proportional. If you had long hair, all the food you ate would go straight to the hair and you would never put on any weight. (there was a phase in my life when I was underweight and yes I am telling the truth!)
15) If you swallow chewing gum, it will get stuck in your throat or ribs and the doctors will have to do a surgery to remove it. I dint know they get digested/ excreted like any other food !
16) Shampoo had chicken poop in them that created the foam, more the poop more the foam. Ok my grandfather who has never used a shampoo told me this when I was 4 or 5 and I was hesitant to use shampoo for few days until my brothers cleared it for me !
17) My brother said he had eyes at the back of his head and he would know if I did anything silly behind him.
18) A white spot on your nail means you are getting a new dress. I have tried to scratch my nail and show to my mom
19) When I wanted to see a dentist to pull my canon teeth down, my dad said it was a lucky charm and if I pulled it, the charm will go away !!!!
20) I believed when hubi told me the note ‘wastages will be charged’ in the ‘Banana leaf’ restaurant meant, the hotel manager would come and weigh your plate when you finish, calculate the wastage you have in your plate and charge you for that. I ate everything in my plate except curry leaves because i knew they dint weigh much.I was 26 years old then !!!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Judge

I know judging others is bad and as much as i judge others, they would be judging me too, but couldnt resist. Here is the list of 10 different kinds of people i would judge.
I Judge....
1) People when they buy a big bowl of chips with coke and take the lift to 1 level up..especially when this person looks like someone who can reduce some weight..hehe like me
2) When someone eats sushi and steamed vegetables in a buffet (also uses lite salt!)
3) People on their mobile phone ring tunes and the volume of it
4) Desis trying hard to sound like videsis with their with dodgy accents. This is annoying when the blending in so hard is taken overboard
5) Someone who would plan dinner menu at 8:00 am (hehe…that’s me)
6) School kids sitting in the park in uniform and being naughty !!!
7) The girl who never smiles at me, never talks to anyone but her 1 colleague at work and has her table lamp on all day, even though she sits right next to the window (no there is no glare, I have checked it)
8) The ex boss who asked me for my due date every time he say me....through out my pregnancy.( the man was probably doing a count down !)
9) People who say they are absolutely stressed at work and there is sooo much to do, when you actually know there is nothing to do!
10) The mathematical abilities of the sandwich lady who charges me differently every single time. I eat the same boring salad sandwich every other day.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Baby Talk !

I am not going into kulal inidhi yaazh inidhu pazhamozhi….( a proverb that says no sound of music is better than the ramblings of a kid) but sometimes when I have this conversation with my 3 year old, I am surprised with her vocabulary. Some of the words she uses, I wouldn’t have known them until I was like 10 or older..
Anyway here are some of the things that took me by surprise when uttered by her.

1) I am applying moisturiser for baby after a shower
Baby – mummy you missed my back
Me – I have done it baby
Baby - Smarty pants mummy !!!!

2) I am helping her dress up for our weekly visit to the temple
Baby - Ohhh ! this is gorgeous, I look like a fairy princess

3) Hubi singing ( he is a pretty good singer..unlike me)
Baby - Heyyyyy ! stop it, I am trying to sleep

4) I am asking her to nap and turn off the TV
Baby – Daddy my friend..mummy silly BOY!

5) We are walking in the shopping strip and she abruptly stops sometimes and I am trying to get her to walk again
Baby - Don’t push me mummy, I am standing here

( I wonder why she would simply decide to stand in 1 spot and think while we are walking !)

6) Watching Ice Age 3 -Ellie the mammoth gives birth to a baby mammoth
Baby - “aawww, soooo cute”

7) Any question starting with ‘why’ like why did you do this ? Why did you push diya? why dint you finish dinner ? etc..the answer invariably is
Baby – ‘Ofcourse’ !!!

8) Hubi – Do you like mummy or daddy?
Baby – Mummy
Hubi – Do you like daddy or mummy ?
Baby – Mummy
Hubi – Do you like mummy or daddy?
Baby - Daa…ummy ( obviously confused)

9) me – Let me help you with your shoes
Baby – No ! MYdo it

10) Classic - One fine day
Me – What’s that noise ?
Baby – My bum is burping !!!!!!!